At the end of January, I had the honor of taking part in a
Gay/Straight Alliance (GSA) conference at Niagara Wheatfield High School. I was asked to be a part of a panel to discuss questions such as, "Were you out in high school?" and "Are you out at your place of employment." The questions were designed to give the kids attending the conference a look at the many different lives that gay people lead. When I agreed to go to the conference, I honestly had no idea what to expect. I had been to one before last spring, but it was rather small and I wasn't a part of the programming. I sat in the audience, astounded at the fact that 45 kids from eight different schools in Western New York were coming together in the spirit of diversity and tolerance.
I arrived at the conference early to help set up. As the kids began filing in, I wasn't only astounded - I was completely floored. There were over 100 kids attending the conference, from over 15 different schools in Western New York. I couldn't believe it. My first thought was, "Where was this kind of thing when I was in high school?" It was so wonderful to see because it made me realize just how much things have changed since I graduated from Frontier High School in 1996.
During my time on the panel, I answered each question as honestly and distinctively as possible. The panel was extremely diverse, made up of four women (including myself) and one man. Each person experienced coming out in his or her own way, at different age and in a completely unique situation. Our stories were simple examples of how each member of the GLBT community has his or her own path to follow, and that we are all brave in our own way.
Some of the kids were surprised and saddened at the fact that I was not out in high school. I'm not sad about it at all. It wasn't my time, and I wasn't ready by any means. Even though I knew I was gay, I hardly knew myself. I was still trying very hard to be something I wasn't, to fit in with all of the other girls in my school, and to cling to my reputation as a popular athlete with a soft side. The reality is that I was a rebellious tomboy through and through, who had numerous crushes on all of her cheerleader friends. And though I didn't finally accept my true self until after college, I know that the route I took was the perfect one for me. It led me to where I am today. It led me right to the GSA conference, so that I could share my personal experience with upcoming generations.
Kids today amaze me. They are so much more aware of themselves and their surroundings than I was at that age. And they relish the fact that they have so many positive resources like the GSA conference available to them. They don't take it for granted. I know this because during our panel question and answer session, a student stood up and said:
"I don't have a question, really. I just want to say thank you to each of you. If it weren't for you and what you went through, we wouldn't have this opportunity. We are so lucky to have the support that we have, and I feel bad that you didn't have the same."
Honestly, I wanted to cry. He got it. He got the fact that if it weren't for all of the people who came before us, things wouldn't be as they are now. To know that I am a part of that evolution as well is a bit overwhelming. He understood that he, too, is paving the way for future generations.
To that student, and to all the students who attended the conference I say, "You're very welcome. Don't feel bad about what I went through. I don't. Witnessing what took place at the conference with my own eyes is my reward. And knowing that you now have a place to gather and identify with other GLBT students like you gives me peace of mind."
— In addition to being an Outcome Buffalo Columnist, Lyndsey D'Archangelo
is a journalist and author. She is the author of the Golden Crown Literary Society Award-winning book, The Trouble with Emily Dickinson. Her recent novel, The Crabapple Tree, was published in May 2009. Please visit her website.
