June 5, 2008       OutcomeBuffalo > News


I love New York

Iíll admit it. Iíve been suffering from state-envy for quite awhile now. Itís not that I donít like living in New York, I just have a few complaints here and there. Taxes are way too high and it seems as if Upstate and Western New York will be stuck supporting New York City for the rest of its life. But hey, no place is perfect. Georgia is crowded with traffic and mini plazas. Arizona is way too hot. The Midwest has far too many tornados. And we all have seen the kind of damage a hurricane can do. Truth be told, I like my life here. I like my job and I like the town I live in. I like the people I surround myself with and I like my social life. But Iíd be lying if I didnít say that a part of me sometimes wishes I could take my job and my town and my circle of friends, and transport them all to another state, a state I have envied since 2004.

Which state am I talking about, you wonder? Iíll give you a hint. It wears Red Sox, loves history (especially the Revolutionary War) and eats a regular diet consisting of beans, seafood and Samuel Adams. Give up?

Massachusetts. I used to envy Massachusetts because of the simple fact that gay marriage is legal. If I lived there, I would have the freedom to marry and not be concerned with the legal ramifications. I could go about my wedding business just like everybody else. And Iíd be perfectly content. This matters to me a lot more than it used to because I am engaged and my girlfriend and I are in the beginning stages of planning for our wedding. If we could get married in the state that we lived in, things would be a heck of a lot easier.

That being said, itís safe to say that I donít envy Massachusetts so much anymore for two very good reasons. First off, I used to live in Boston. And while it was fun and all, I came to the inevitable conclusion that I am more of a country mouse rather than a city one. Like so many others who have moved away only to come back a few years later, I missed the comfort and familiarity of Buffalo. I was more than happy to come home. Second, and probably more importantly, it was recently announced that New York State would begin recognizing same-sex marriages performed elsewhere and in California starting on June 17.

This is huge because it allows gay couples the ability to share family health care plans, receive tax breaks (by filing jointly) and inherit property and estates. We could take a flight to Cali, get hitched and have our marriage recognized by the good State of New York upon returning home. We could even get married in Canada. In the eyes of the state, our marriage would be no different from anyone elseís.

I think I have rediscovered my love for New York. Itís silly how one little change can influence your appreciation. Though, this is hardly a ďlittleĒ change. This is big. Bigger than big. This is a gigantic step forward. And Iím proud of New York. As I said before, I like where I live, I like my job and I like my life. Sure, New York State has some flaws. But itís a state that is becoming more self-aware every day. And itís making progress in the right direction. Who knows Ö in a few years we gay folk might even be able to get married here! —- Lyndsey D'Archangelo or visit her at dreamaloftydream.com

Previous Columns by Lyndsey D'Archangelo
SOME OPINIONS HAVE TO BE APPROVED June 2007
A GAY IDOL?April 2007
WANNA BE PLAYER August 2004
PAYING FOR LIVING RENT FREE September 2004
GRANDMOTHERLY ADVICEOctober 2004
CASTING MY VOTENovember 2004
NO MORE DRAMADecember 2004
TOO GAYJanuary 2005
THE U-HAUL SYNDROME April 2005
SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO?May 2005
THE MANY SHADES OF A RAINBOW - From both the Gay & Lesbian Perspective June 2005
BASKETBALL DIARIESJuly 2005
A TOMBOY AT HEART August 2005
YAY FOR GAY CORPORATE AMERICA September 2005
KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLEOctober 2005
ANOTHER REASON TO ROOT FOR SWOPES November 2005
LOOKING BACKDecember 2005
WHY BROKEBACK BROKE THE MOLDAPRIL 2006
THE EX-FACTORMay 2006
BUH BUH BYE TO THE CLOSETOctober 2006

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