Lately I've been thinking of relocating. After living in Boston, MA, I realize that I am not a city girl. I enjoy the comfort of a small city, which is exactly what Buffalo is. But considering our city's current financial state, I'm not sure that staying here is such a good idea anymore. Throughout the country we are known for our mistakes and missteps - the most current being an article published on CNN.com about the lack of toilet paper in the county offices due to insufficient funds. Hey, at least we made CNN right?

My family has dispersed themselves around the east coast. My older brother settled in Georgia with his wife and daughter, my twin brother found a home in Massachusetts, and my parents are planning to move to Florida relatively soon. I find this ironic because the main reason that I moved back to Buffalo was to be closer to them. How funny that in the end, they are all moving away from me.

Now that I really don't have a main reason to stay in the area, I'm looking for other places to rest my hat. My father asked me if I would ever consider moving back to Virginia because I spent four years there during college. This, obviously, was before I came out because I went to the most conservative, Methodist, small-town school in the entire country. I told my father that in being a gay woman, I have to take that into consideration when thinking about where I would like to live and settle down. Thinking about heading down south again was appealing because I enjoyed the time I spent there during college. But a lot has changed in Virginia since I went to school there. And I think that I've noticed this even more since stepping out of the closet.

I started paying attention to Virginia last month, after a school in Chesterfield cancelled the appearance of a gay fiction writer. Apparently an e-mail had been sent to some parents by a conservative group citing that the guest was not suitable for high school students - not suitable because he was gay. Forget the fact that the guest was a published author who had no intention of speaking about gay rights at all. The event was cancelled because of homophobia and nothing else. This whole situation prompted me to dig a little further into Virginia's closet of discriminatory skeletons.

In February of this year, the good state of Virginia jumped on the anti-gay marriage bandwagon by approving a Constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage. The Virginia House voted 78-18 to approve said amendment. I was even more appalled to find out that in April 2004, the good lawmakers of Virginia passed a bill that outlawed any partnership contract or other arrangements that purported to provide the benefit of marriage. This "Marriage Affirmation Act" bars same-sex couples in the state from obtaining medical power of attorney, making custody decisions and carrying out estate planning directives. Move back to Virginia? Hmmm, not so much.

In college I was a naïve, closeted youngin', not ready to explore my sexuality and influenced by the conservative atmosphere around me. Once I spread my wings and flew off to Boston, I was immersed in a sea of acceptance of all races, sexual orientation and open-minded thinking. There is no way that I could ever go back to a state of such limited thinking. One thing I will say for Buffalo is that it is comfortable for me to live here as a lesbian. Our community is small, but cozy. And while there still is a great deal of conservative thinking that thrives here, I've also noticed a shift in the tides of acceptance. Buffalo may be a small city, but it has a large group of genuinely nice and caring people.

The urge for me to move comes and goes. If I do end up leaving, I know that it won't be to a place that exists below the Mason-Dixon line. At least not now. I was thinking of possibly moving somewhere in the New England region. Vermont perhaps? Any state that is home to the ice cream legends of Ben and Jerry has to be a wonderful place to live.

At least I know that they would have a sufficient stock of toilet paper in their county offices.